A relationship ebbs and flows envision a river with calm pools, rushing rapids, and rock formations. The best view may be from the embankment, where, in the stillness, one can prepare their course. Success depends on the ability to continue in a progressive motion, reaching the next level of maturity in the relationship, an attainable goal with practice. The first step in any relational experience, whether a new friendship or task is flirtation. Flirting is, “To behave as though trying to attract without serious intention.” The states of I want, toying with the answer. Everyone does it; they detect novelty flirting with confusion and interest. For example, considering a new diet plan, hobby, educational enhancement, or a person. We dance around our first flirts while understanding we expect them. Little ones attend daycare with bashful poses as they warm up to being in a group and making new friends. The anxious teen enters high school knowing they will be among the nervous flirtation of an awkward mating ritual in the hallways?
Kids try to take a position in the hierarchy of cool versus, well, not so cool. A weakened elderly person walks into a gym, shocking the fit millennial, believing they are only flirting with fitness for themselves. How do we detect the flirt from serious, who decides that? That “elderly folk” may have been an Olympic athlete! They worked to perfect a relationship with their body and fitness knowing they should continue even in weakness. The progress from flirt to a relationship can advance with an action. In the flirtation phase, we entertain ideas. Imagine a puppy whose ears peaking ready to dive into the next exploration. Here is an example; someone walks into a bookstore, with the goal of a new hobby. No set plans, just a hobby, desiring a new skill. Yet, they stop and question themselves. Are they too deficient to try - this skill is for someone better than me- I will fail—or could I?
Doubt is the active destroyer of movement. It sends bombs to deter you, and those bombs create a minefield to navigate. Often we give up before even allowing ourselves to learn or grow. How long does one stay in the safety net of non-committal flirtation? No energy to change or are we quiet in our committing and others assume. Relationship, while we seek it, what does it mean? We define a Relationship as, “How two or more concepts, objects or people connect. Are you in a Relationship? This is how a relationship should be? Why are you so alone? Why is that important to everyone else? Is He for me not against me? Why do we listen to the world? Why do we allow the doubt to overtake the joy? These questions confuse and are the breeding ground for hopeless abandon. The onslaught of attacks hitting our brain separates us from the truth.