Online Dating: How To Respond To Men Who Wink At You Online

Recently, one of my new dating coaching clients started online dating. She's been receiving quite a few winks from men and wasn't sure how to respond. Should she wink back or send an email? Overall, my recommended strategy for responding to men from online dating sites is this - mirror their actions. In other words, if a man winks at you, and you are interested, wink back. If he sends you a short email, email him back a brief email. The best way to interact with men from online dating sites is to reflect back to them whatever they are doing. That's what I mean when I say "mirror" them. However, if you get a very long email from a man who tells you all about himself, don't mirror this. He has most likely cut and pasted this long verbiage over and over again to lots of women. Sadly, don't feel flattered by a long, non-personalized email. With online dating, the point is to get to the first meeting as quickly as possible. This is ideal versus becoming pen pals. Sometimes men want to email back and forth and never get to talking on the phone.

Beware if this happens to you. He is either not emotionally available or possibly in a relationship - these are the most likely scenarios. Emailing could be a way of cheating on a partner without actually cheating. Besides, you don't need any new pen pals. So many of my dating over 40 or dating after divorce coaching clients have fallen victim to this situation. Move on and don't get caught up in the sweet emails that are so cute and sensitive. If after 2-4 emails, the man hasn't asked you to speak on the phone, ask him to do so. It's OK in this case to lead. If he hedges, drop him immediately and move on to find a man who might actually want to meet and date you. Don't waste your time. I warn my dating coaching clients about this all the time. Please, don't get sucked in to the Florence Nightingale idea of helping a wounded man to heal.

There will be no reward for your good nursing. Most likely, he'll move on to someone else because you become associated with a hard time in his life. He rather start fresh so don't put on those white nurses' shoes. Ideally, you'll email 2-4 times back and forth. Then speak on the phone briefly - say for 20-minutes to set up a date. A lot of my dating coaching clients end up talking on the phone multiple times for hours. This is similar to the pen pal situation. I had one male client who had a phone relationship for seven months and never met the woman. He was crazy in love with her, but she had loads of excuses why they could not get together. My bet is she was married/involved, much older/younger than she claimed or didn't look anything like her photo. Something was dreadfully wrong with this scenario and his heart got broken by her empty promises.

Please don't let this happen to you. Another issue with long phone conversations or loads of emails before meeting is that you will create a picture of the person in your mind. And trust me - a man will never be like what you imagine! Now you'll have to get past the disappointment of how he didn't measure up to your fantasy. So email 2-4 times, talk on the phone for 20-minutes, and then meet the man for no more than 90 minutes. The strategy is to leave him wanting more. When you let a little mystery exist, that makes a man curious to know more, so he'll call again. This is not manipulative - it's just leveraging human nature. Whatever gets served up easily on a silver platter is not desirable versus something he has to work for. Online dating is an amazing tool for meeting men you would have never had the chance to meet any other way. According to statistics, 12 % of marriages and 20% of relationships now start from web dating. Try it but be savvy with how you go about it!